|
WELCOME to "The things I do for Money" the blog dedicated the crazy, unusual, uncomfortable, moral-bending things we do everday for our employers to pay the bills. I WANT THE INSIDE SCOOP, I want to hear from other telemarketers, salespeople, mechanics, teachers, lawyers...from all of you. Tell me your story news@thethingsidoformoney.com news@thethingsidoformoney.com |
|
The things I do for Money |
|
OK lets get back to the purpose of this blog, to expose the world for exactly what it is. (By world I mean workplace). Another common theme in customer service is the customer who demands to speak to the supervisor.
These customers fall into 2 categories.
1) The customer who has called 5 times and the problem still hasn't been solved. This makes sense that they would ask for the supervisor and they will most likely have their problem solved becuase the supervisor will actually want to solve their problem.
2) The customer with the big ego who thinks they are always in control, the condescending type who has their bitchy wife in the background who they are trying to impress with their manliness. They believe that THEY will have their problem solved just becuase they start the conversation asking for my name. They believe that somehow that will intimidate me.
Today we will discuss category 2.
Your typical category 2 will firstly always want to give you the impression that they have money, that somehow money = power in customer service (Which if you are still wondering at this point if it does you are stupid, please go watch fox news)
A category 2 also has a 50% chance of mentioning they are calling their lawyer. Like somehow I will give a fuck, Do you think I own stock in the company?
Do you think my boss gives a fat rats ass that your fat brother-in-law plays golf with a guy who went to college with a guy who became a lawyer?
Do you think I really believe you will call him?
Do you really think I believe you will spend hundres of dollars to dispute $40?
Oh yeah and did I mention do you think I care?
Here is what I do know?
- You are not a happy person.
- You have now pissed me off becuase I am busy trying to make sure other customers are being up-sold.
- I already don't like you.
- I already have decided to say no to whatever you want.
- I can apologize better and for longer than anyone else on the planet.
- You are probably fat and no longer attracted to your wife.
- She wants to have an affair, but the good news is for you she is too ugly.
- You probably don't read very well.
- If I use big words you will soon realize that I am smarter than you and give up.
- I will leave detailed notes making it easier for the next person to say no.
- When I get off the phone the CSR and I will laugh at you.
- You were probably an ass to someone else previously who changed your services !!!!
And I will accomplish all of this with a tone of voice that will make you believe I was the most helpful person you could have found and that I sincerely wanted to help you.
|
|
|
|
| Posted by TheThings IDoForMoney at | | | |
|
| Looks like I have been just another fuckin observer, my apologies to all who continue to read and respond. But isn't that the state of the internet and the world today, everybody is talking and nobody is listening. It's all look at me, hear me, pay attention to me.....but is it working. Probably not....where is my tipping point Malcom Gladwell.
|
|
|
|
| Posted by TheThings IDoForMoney at | | | |
|
Im still getting comments from people who are convinced they are somehow one-upping the telemarketer by readin this script....ur all so dumb, why would you think that bothers us....I am more annoyed by the old lady who just wants to talk...or people who think its cute when their kids answer the phones (although if they sound old enough not a bad way to get a sale!)
Plus you help the telemarketer get their "talk time" up which makes it look like they are trying much harder....my only complaint to you fools is mix it up a little, 8 hours is a long shift.
|
|
|
|
| Posted by TheThings IDoForMoney at | | | |
|
It's been a while, got promoted to Supervisor in the Telemarketing company I work for. I know it doesn't sound like much to most folks but it mean a lot more money and less time spent listening to the publics bullshit.
I've learned a lot of the past 4 weeks, further insight into why we call the same person 9 times a day, the truth about the DNC and a host of other things....but mostly i like the money.
|
|
|
|
| Posted by TheThings IDoForMoney at | | | |
|
Anyone remember what a JAFO is?
|
|
|
|
| Posted by TheThings IDoForMoney at | | | |
|
|
Talk to the average person and their full of clever ways they get rid of telemarketers.
It seems everyone says NO but yet it still remains a Billion Dollar Industry.
Why is that?
I’m going to tell you….just a few reasons….but there are many.
First of all on a telemarketing call there are 2 distinct parts….BEFORE the recording and IN the recording.
We know the average person will say they are “not interested” we’re not surprised by that, all of our training is designed to hear those two words, we know you will say it before you do!
We will quickly counter.
“I understand”
“We still think you should take a look at the offer” or
“We would hate for you to miss out on this opportunity”
Customer - ‘OK I’ll look at it but I don’t want to be signed up for anything”
US - “Of course, we wouldn’t want to sign you up for anything you are not interested in”
Remember this is all before the recording.
The key is we listen but never actually answer you directly.
Then we know one thing FOR SURE, people have TERRIBLE listening skills.
As we move into the recorded portion the customer is confident they have said NO and go back to listening at the same level as 4 year old and we proceed to QUICKLY read the crap we have to read….get a quick YES and get you off the phone as quickly as possible.
KEEP IN MIND - We haven't broken any lwas here because you will be recorded saying YES
There are of course many other dimensions of this that I won’t get into at this time….but hopefully that gives you a little more insight.
Believe it or not this is the easiest and least aggressive way we get you to buy….but it is only the beginning!
|
|
|
|
| Posted by TheThings IDoForMoney at | | | |
|
I believe that in our Society, You are almost guaranteed to go against your moral beliefs, or be bored shitless, just to pay the bills. I am Vegetarian, and I was so desperate and so broke once, I decided to take a job at a Charcoal Chicken Take Away shop.... I have never been so depressed, coming home smelling like my dogs best dreams, and my worst nightmare... I trully believed I had no other choice, and because I liked the house that I lived in, and food on my table, So did I have a choice?........ Thankfully it was only very temporary, but very distressing none the less.... I have had a few more comprimising jobs over the years, filled with boredom and Morally questionable what not's, but am now trying to work on the righteous path...........
KM Australia
Thanks KM - That was a great way to start my morning....will make great pages for your autobiography one day!
|
|
|
|
| Posted by TheThings IDoForMoney at | | | |
|
Please read below....HUGE THANKS to Ryan....Irony will one day sting these mofo's in the ass!
What have I done for money?
Shit where do I start. I could go on and on about crappy jobs I've had in the past, but one really sticks out in my mind. I worked for a food warehousing/production company and I was in charge of the iced tea canning line. Sounds pretty mundane, but the key ingredient in iced tea is sugar, yummy yummy sugar. Seem humans aren't the only ones who think so, guess what bees love?? So my job was to hook up our canning line to the sugar rail car sitting outside, which was constantly leaking it's contents all over the place. Needless to say the bees caught on to this arrangement and swarmed in the thousands, resulting in many stings for me. The catch: the company didn't think it was cost effective to provide me with protective clothing because I only had to do it once a week. I wonder how many meetings they had about that one?
Now I work for a fairly large corporation doing a mix of accounting and IT duties, only of course to pay the bills. It's amazing how many mindless zombies wander around the office believing they are happy when in fact they are miserable. I have cut back to half days, and hopefully will be completly free of the shackles in a few months to follow my dream, opening a live music bar here in Vancouver.
I'll keep you posted......
Rye
|
|
|
|
| Posted by TheThings IDoForMoney at | | | |
|
What have I done for money?
Only sold my soul and future to the corporate world e.g. THE DEVIL, so i can make a marginally above average salary that amounts to shit in the long run. Glad everyone else around me is pleased I got this job at the expense of everything I am passionate about - which is not much. God, what a bleak society we live in. I say "society" and not "world" cuz I have a feeling that if I was hunting wild boar in Tanzania and having wild jungle sex - I wouldnt even be conscious of the internet, craiglists, or the inevitable problems of a society driven by greed. That good enough of a story for yah?
-N
Thanks N. This is exactly why I started this Blog, because I knew there must be more people out there like me that have been labelled with "generation something".
We are constantly given labels by people our senior desribing how we choose to live in the world THEY created.
I make no apologies!!!!
We adapt better to this world than any previous generations would have been able to. We contribute to new econimies, hell we are creating them. We go to work for companies that they run and do the crappy things that they demand so we can pay for our over priced, undervalued education ....so we can get a better paying job again in the world THEY created.
Looking forward to more responses!!!
|
|
|
|
| Posted by TheThings IDoForMoney at | | | |
|
Got an email from a guy who called himself "Ernie Ebbers" (I'm pretty sure it wasn't him) who I think was the old CEO of WorldCom who has since found himself in a little troube.
He says he has lots to share but wanted to start by explaining why companies use automated phone systems.
"The reasons are many but let me just tell you this one tidbit, if you call and hit the buttons for "technical Issue" or "Billing Question" you will wait on hold a hell of a lot longer than if you hit sales. The bottome line is customer service deparmtents are designed to treat a potential customer much better than an exisiting customer!!!
Thanks Ernie!
|
|
|
|
| Posted by TheThings IDoForMoney at | | | |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
